Happy

Crazy thing today.  I thought to myself I feel happy.

Fist time I've thought I felt happy since Jared died.

Strange to feel happy when I have felt anything but happy in the last 13 months.

I am going to enjoy this feeling because I know the grief monster will rear it's ugly head again. Sooner rather than later.

I am going to enjoy this moment because  happy moments are fleeting. As I know all to well.

I am going to enjoy this feeling as long as it lasts because sadness, loneliness, emptiness will return again.    Without any warning.

But until then, I am going try to enjoy feeling happy.  For however long it lasts.