Signs

When my husband first died, I wasn't so sure if I was a believer of signs. But in the last 2 years I have had so many signs from him. Most recently I have had 3 in the last 24 hours. Last night I had a dream about my husband that was so real, I had to remind myself he was gone when I woke up. In my dream we were home laying in my bed holding hands, I was laying on his chest and we had our hands tightly clasped.  And in my dream I knew his time on Earth was limited. In my dream thought I have to call Kim and tell her I can't come this weekend. It will be one of Jared's last weekend at home and I cannot leave him. I distinctly remember feeling my hand in his.  I remember what it was like to use heart beating as I lay on his chest. I remember when I woke up and thought I have to call Kim and tell her I can't come this weekend. And then I remembered. I remember it was just a dream and Jared is gone. Today I had to fly to Miami to get a Brazilian visa. It has been a very long drawn-out and stressful process. Even after arriving at the consulate today it did not appear that I would get my visa. And then after jumping through many hoops, I was told my visa would be complete and available for pickup on 9/16.. Jared’s angelversary. And then after I landed in Tampa tonight, I check my phone to see I have an email from him that arrived at 9:41 p.m. There's no message on the email just his name. That's all I need. Three signs in less than 24 hours to tell me he is always here.

Today marks the two-week countdown.  Jared's last 2 weeks on this earth.  Two years ago were so full of hope.   Hope that we would have 6 months to a year left with Jared. Little did we know that two weeks later he would be gone. He knows how hard these next 2 weeks are going to be for me and I believe he is reaching out to tell me that he is always here. Always in my heart. And he is especially near when times are hard for me.

Valentine's Day this year my son and I were driving to visit friends. When he said mom there's a message from dad on the radio. My car is one that will show your text messages on the radio. So I looked down and it wasn't a text message, it was from his email. And it said simply All is well. Love you. I am immediately started to cry and had to pull over. And then I took a picture this message. Usually when I receive a text message on the dash it only lasts a couple of seconds. But this one lasted long enough for me to see it, pullover, get my phone out of my purse and take a photo. Jared definitely wanted me to see it. He was letting me know just how much he loves me day of love. A few months ago Steven and I opened the door to our house and inside the door was a heart-shaped leaf. Now that may not sound like much to most people, but how did a leaf  get inside my house from the garage? For me there was no other explanation than Jared saying hello.

I know not everyone believes in sign. I wasn't sure I did before. But since Jared died, I definitely do. There have been too many things that I cannot explain other than it's his way of saying hello.  Keep sending me signs honey. I love when you come to say hello.