Today my heart is heavy. And I don't really know why. It's not a special day, not an anniversary of any sort, no special memory to trigger my heart ache. But today my heart just hurts from missing my husband.
Today I just woke up with the ache of missing him. And it's something people who have never suffered great loss cannot understand. Grief comes in waves and sometimes those waves make you think you're going to drown and other times those waves are easy to surf. Even on a good day, a wave can come out of nowhere and just knock you to the ground. Other days the waves come constantly without a break. And some days there are no waves at all.
Saturday morning's conjure up lots of memories. Lazy mornings snuggling in bed, crazy mornings rushing to get ready for football, fun family days. And I'm missing all of that today. I am just missing him.
Mornings like this, remind me that widow life can be a lonely one. No one special to spend the morning with me. No one special to make plans with. No one special trying to make you laugh. And while I have my little boy to keep me busy, it is definitely not the same. And while I have amazing friends, they have their own families and their own lives. It is mornings like this, with nothing to do and no plans until later, that I realize what an empty space he left in my life. And I miss him terribly
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