23 Months

23 months today.  

Which means in 4 weeks,it will be 2 years.

How is that possible?

So much has changed.

And yet, so many things have stayed the same.

23 months today.

Steven started 7th grade.

His 2nd year of middle school.

Another first day you didn't get to see.

He's playing football again.

But he is enjoying it more this year.

Another year you are not here to be his coach.

I'm taking an online creative course.

And using your old drafting table again.

It has been an outlet for my grief...but I know you already know that.

We still talk about you everyday.

We laugh when we think of the sarcastic comments you would make.

Not a day goes by we don't miss you.

We still travel and have a list of must see places.

We wish you were here to make new memories with us.

Our vacations always include you.

I worry I will forget the little things...your laugh, the shade of blue of your eyes, your smell, and the way I felt in your arms.

I worry I am not enough for Steven and somehow I am going to screw it up.

So I pray to get it right and never forget.

Today is 23 months...almost 2 years.

I never thought I would survive your death but I am.

But you knew I would, didn't you?

23 months today.

So many changes.

But one thing will never change, I will always love you.