Throwing a fit

Today is one of those days where I just want to stomp my feet, throw a fit, and just cry. But unfortunately my grown up, adult responsibilities are calling and I can't.  So instead I will go to work and suppress my frustration and grief.

I hate days like this.  Days where I think I just can't do this all alone.  Days I know it would be a hell of a lot easier if Jared were still here.  Days that I feel beaten down and my day hasn't even started.

No idea why today is such an emotional one. I had terrible, awful dreams all night long.  So I woke up feeling exhausted and empty.  Maybe that's why I'm feeling like I've been through the ringer today.

I am having some medical issues and have no one to care for me.  No one to say it will be OK.  No one to help with things at home so I can have some time to process the possibilities.  Maybe that's why today is an emotional mine field.

My son had a school project his dad would have loved but instead I am left trying to help my son all the whole knowing we both wished his dad were here.   Maybe that has taken an emotional toll on me.

Ugh, I just want to throw in the towel.  But instead I held back emotions all day and now my eyes hurt.  I need a good cry.  I need to let the emotions flow.  I need to take the time to allow this to happen so tomorrow can be a better day.  The unexpected bad days are harder for me.

Today was one of those days.  And I have no idea why.