Death Affects Us All

Jared’s death affected not only me, it also affected Steven.  

There is no way his life could not be changed.  Watching your dad die is hard as an adult, unimaginable as a child.  Then top that with watching your surviving parent grieve and be sad.  How is a child supposed to understand and comprehend all those emotions?  Not just sadness and grief but also fear. Fear that your surviving parent will die.  Fear that that you will disappoint your deceased parent.  Fear that you will forget what your parent looked like or sounded like.  Fear that you will never know what your parent was like as child, or what the wanted to be when they grew up, why the picked a particular.  

That is why I try so hard to keep Jared’s memory alive.  To share stories of his dad with Steven.  To ask Jared’s friends and family to share their stories.  To make sure that Steven knows just how much his dad loved him. How proud Jared is of him.  To continue to include Jared in our holidays and events.  Have Jared’s picture in our home. To let Steven know it’s OK to be happy and sad at the same time.  That his dad would want him to be happy, Jared told him so. Ensure Steven knows he is not alone.  Hope that his loss will propel him to greatness. 

Death at any age is difficult to process.  Now imagine doing that as a young child...