Sunday, March 19, 2017

Resistant To Change

What do you do when you realize that your new beginning's daughter may not be ready for her dad to be in a relationship?  That she doesn't want their life to change?  That for many years she has been the only “woman” in his life and she may not be ready to share him?  

My first instinct was to shut down.  Retreat.  Leave before he could leave me.  Because my biggest fear is that if his daughter doesn't approve, our relationship will be over.   But then I remembered something I learned at Camp Widow...turn down the heat.  Don't try to blend your family but instead try slow cooking it.  Give it time.  Remember that  everyone adjusts to change in their own time.  And I prayed.  Prayed for guidance and understanding.  Then I realized that this is the first time his daughter has been to my world.  First time she has spent a weekend with us.  First time she has really seen our relationship up close and personal.  And then it hit me.  I have to trust my new beginning.  He loves me, really loves me.  And he is in this relationship for the long haul.  He will figure out how to help his daughter accept that life is all about change and that not all changes are bad.   

And next month when my son and I travel to his house, it may be my child that doesn't handle the new situation well.  It may be my child who is resistant to his life changing.  And I would want Jon to be patient and understanding with him.

I know for certain, Jon is my future.  Our two families will soon be one. There will be ups and downs.  There will be bumps in the road.  There will be twists and turns.  But as long as we keep the lines of communication open, we will make it.  We got this.  Because true love can move mountains and I'm not giving up on this great love.




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