Grief and Judgement

One thing I have learned about grief, is that you are damned if you do and damned if you don't. There is no right way to do grieve. Only the way that is right for you. No matter what you do or don't do, someone is going to point and judge.  

You're healing too fast.  How could you possibly be moving forward already?

You're healing too slow.   Why aren't you over it yet?  When will the “old” you return?  

It's been months, it's time you started dating.  You're too young to spend the rest of your life alone.

I can't believe you're dating already.  Did you even think how your child must feel seeing you with someone else?

Your child has become your entire reason for living.  That's not healthy.

You're to focused on yourself.   You don't think about anyone else.

You always talk about him. No one wants to be reminded that he is dead.

You never talk about him anymore.   Did you forget him?

And the list goes on and on.   

No matter how well you think you are handling your grief, someone will point out how you are doing it wrong.  No matter how hard you try to be the best solo parent you can be, someone will tell you how to do it better.  No matter how hard you strive to find a new normal and put your life back together, someone will try and suck the wind out of your sails.

But I have learned, no one can grieve for me.  No one is walking my path except for me.  I have to grieve how I feel is best. And I can't worry about what anyone else may or may not think.  So to those who point and judge, go ahead judge away.  But to those who support and encourage, thank you.  Thank you for letting me know I'm going to make it. And that's it is OK to do it my way.