Four Years

Dear Lovebug,

Today marks four years since you went to your heavenly home. Four long, hard, difficult years. And it still feels like yesterday and forever at the same time. I found such comfort, such peace, in the fact that you told me that the angels were there to take you home. That you told me you were not scared. That you were not afraid. During the last four years, those words and that knowledge have been such a source of comfort and peace for me. You have no idea the gift you gave me that night.  

So much has happened in this last year. The biggest news, I know you already know, I married Jon. A man I truthfully believe you sent to be in our lives. The other big change...I sold our house. Steven really wanted to go to the finance program at Northeast and that meant we had to move. And I know, you would have been completely supportive of that decision.  So we are living in a new house, in a new city. Life without you is definitely not the same. But we are doing our best to make it a good life.

We miss you everyday.  We always wish you were here to see all that’s happening in our lives.  We wish we could make more memories with you. But I know you are watching, smiling with pride at how I’ve kept my promise.  At how we are living our life to the fullest. At what a great young man Steven is becoming. I still can’t believe he’s in high school.  He reminds me of you at least once a day. You would be so damn proud of him. He is definitely his father’s son.

You touched so many lives.  And are missed by so many. My heart will always have a space reserved just for you.  No matter how many years you live in heaven. No matter how much my life changes. No matter what happens, you will always be a part of my life.  My heart. You will always be the reason I said yes to love. You will always be Steven’s dad. You will always be my first forever love. You will always be missed.  You will always be loved.

Thank you for loving me. For spending your forever with me.  For giving me a lifetime in a limited number of years.

I love you,

Carla