Saturday, January 2, 2016

Discover

Our 12 hour drive home yesterday  provided me with a lot of time to think.  Think about my future, my goals, my hopes, my dreams.  Michele Neff Hernandez asked us to chose a word for 2016.  I immediately said live, my go to response.  But on the way home yesterday I really thought about my word and I decided it will be discover.

Discover who I am now.  I will always be Jared's widow and Steven's mom, but who am I?  Who is Carla?  I'm not the same woman I was when I met and married Jared.  I'm not the same woman I was on 9/16/2014 when I held my husband as died.

Discover who I want to be.  And then work toward becoming this person.  And my search my change my opinion of who I want to be.  That's why it is a journey.

Discover my passion.  Find what makes heart soar and then DO it.

Discover joy and happiness.  I want Steven to see my happy.  Living life to the fullest.  Finding joy in everyday life. And I want to be happy again.

Discover new adventures and new experiences.  Life is for living and I plan to add experiences and adventures to our life.  Finish the list Jared and I started.  Begin a list for Steven and I and make plans to check off the boxes.

Discover this new life and all it has to offer, good and bad.   I didn't ask for this new life.  And God knows I would trade it in a minute to have my husband back.  But since I can't do that, I must embrace this life.  Living, truly living is the best way I know to honor Jared.  It will also be a great example for Steven.  I want him to learn that when life knocks you down, you get back up and fight. To have faith that life will work out, maybe not how we planned but according to His plan.

Discover.  That is my word for 2016.  Hold on to your hats, it may be a bumpy ride but it will definitely be an experience.

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