New Year

I chose to go away for New Year's this year because being surrounded by couples kissing at midnight is like a knife in the gut, a reminder that my love will never again be here to kiss me at midnight. And as sweet, wonderful, and kind as my friends are (who would be conscious of my pain and shower me with kisses at midnight), this year I just need to be alone.

Alone to remember my love, alone to honor my past, alone to figure out who I am now, alone to discover who I want to be. Alone to try and find the balance between my past, present, and future selves all while never forgetting.

This next year I have to work on me.  Finding the new me, whoever she is, living in the moment, and truly being grateful for every moment I am given.  All while raising a grieving child.  All while never forgetting my love.  All while grieving.
 
Finding the balance, living life, honoring my love, and being grateful...it's going to be a busy year.