Today is a weepy one for me...no rhyme, no reason, no special memory, just a bad day. Maybe it's because all the first that I am experiencing and will experience (Mother's Day, Steven's birthday, Jared's birthday, my birthday, Father's Day) in May and June. Maybe it's because the school year is ending and summer was always our time, our family time to travel and enjoy each other. Maybe because my life is changing and Jared isn't here to experience these changes with me. Maybe it's because the reality that Jared will never be here again is finally hitting me. Maybe it's just because death sucks.

No matter the reason, today is a hard one, one I must get through to have a brighter tomorrow. Because the one thing I know is that not all my days are bad and even the bad ones have moments of joy and happiness. For my bad day of grief is because of my amazing love story...the great gift of being loved completely and unconditionally for 15 years.