No Good Option

This weekend further solidified my relationship with Jon.  I know it seems crazy.  That we are moving super fast.  But for us, it just feels right.  Each weekend we spend together, just seems to reinforce that we are meant to be together.  Yes, we know we need more time to further get to know each other.  More time for our children to adjust to this relationship. More time to become a family.  But we know that eventually we want to make our relationship official.

We just don't know when.  I promised my son if we were ever going to move, it  wouldn't happen until the summer between his 8th and 9th grade year.  Which is next summer.  And Jon can't leave his daughter before she graduates high school.  Which will be the summer of 2019.  So, therein lies our dilemma.  Do I uproot my son, leave our entire support system, quit my job, and move to Texas next summer?  Or do we wait an additional year when he could move to Florida? Granted, he'll have to leave his college bound daughter and quit his job. There is no good option.  Either way, one of us has to give up our current life to start our new life.  And how do you ask someone to do that for you?  

I want to spend forever with this man.  And if we didn't have our children to think of, I would run away with him tomorrow.  But that isn't an option.  He thinks it would be better for my son for our environment to remain stable and for us to wait until 2019 to officially live together.  And I love him for putting my child's needs first.  It just shows what a wonderful, selfless man he is.  I know for most people 2 years doesn't seem that long, but as a widow, I am acutely aware that life is short and worry that if we put off beginning our life together, something terrible could happen and I would always regret that we didn't just go for it.  Yet on the other hand, I have to think of what is best for my son and his daughter. There is no good option.

So I will keep praying about it and hope God offers a better solution than 2 more years of long distance dating.  And if that is the answer, I pray he gives me the grace to endure the time and distance.