Today Camp Widow comes to an end. And I'm so grateful I came. I needed camp. Needed my widowed community. Needed to feel ”normal.” Needed to find my way with my grief.
This camp centered me. I did an intensive workshop that made me face my fear. Forced me to look deep inside myself and realize how good it would feel if I let go of my fear. What I could have, what my life could be if I let go of my fear. Letting go of my fear has opened up my heart, my soul. And I feel whole again.
This weekend reinforced my belief that Jared is always going to be with me. His spirit will always be here. And just because I have found new love doesn't mean I don't still love him. But I also know it is ok to love again. It's ok to give my heart to someone new. It's ok to want to build a happy future with someone else. This weekend, in my heart, I felt Jared tell me it is ok and he is not only happy for me but he is proud of me. He will always be the sunshine on my face reminding me to look up.
This weekend gave me the tools to run full steam ahead into my future. My future with Jon. This amazing man who loves me. This amazing man who wants to walk this grief journey with me. This amazing man who wants to be a part of my child's life. This amazing man who in 4 short months has helped me to heal in ways I never imagined. This amazing man who makes me laugh and fills my heart with joy. This amazing man whom I love and can't imagine my life without him.
It is amazing how much I have grown, changed since Camp Widow last year. And how far I have come in my grief journey. I truly know without a doubt that love begets love. And love shared is multiplied not divided. And the best way to honor Jared is to live my best life. To share my love. To build a happy future.
Here's to my future. One filled with love and happiness.
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