People have asked me that since I'm dating, seriously dating, does that mean I am over Jared. The short answer is NO. The long answer is that I will never be over Jared. I will always love him. I will always miss him. I will always wish he could still be here, especially for Steven. I will always wish I could have one more day. One more hour. One more minute.
But as much as I miss him, I am still here. I still have a life to live. And because of that, I am choosing to move forward. I am moving forward because life is meant to be lived. Jared made me promise to live and love again. And the best way to honor him, is to live my best life. I think Jared would be proud of me. And he would understand that my moving forward doesn't mean I am forgetting him or leaving him behind. Jared will always be with me. He will continue to be written into the story of my life.
And I have to continue to write my story. My story did not end just because Jared died. It changed, permanently changed, but it didn't end. And now my story includes a new love. A new beginning. A chance for my heart to expand. An opportunity to write the next volume of my story. But finding new love doesn't diminish my love for Jared. My heart has room to love both men.
I never thought I would find love again. Didn't even know I wanted to love again. Instead love found me. And I'm glad it did. But that doesn't mean I'm over Jared. It means I know how precious life is. How precious love is. And that I am going to live my life to the fullest. That I'm going to love to the fullest. That I'm going to honor Jared by keeping my promise.
So no, dating does not mean I am over Jared. It means that his love gave me the strength, the courage, the hope to move forward. To live again. To love again.
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