Blessings

Today I am reminded how blessed I am. Sometimes, given all the grief and heartache it is difficult to remember just how blessed I am.  And just how much my life has changed in the last few years and especially the last few months. 

I was blessed to know a tremendous  love.  A love I would not change.  A love that was worth every ounce of heartache.  A love that I always knew would end to soon. A love I would chose a million times over.  A love that for 16 years was my everything. A love that honored the vow until death do us a part.  A love that will never truly end because death does not end love.  A love that gave me a foundation to survive his death.  A love that gave me the strength to live.  A love that encouraged me to open my heart and accept new love.

And now I am blessed to know a new love.  A love that honors my past.  A love that knows I will always love and miss my first love.  A love that wants to walk my grief journey with me.  A love that will wipe my tears when my heart aches for my first love.  A love that understands my son will always have a dad who lives in heaven and yet wants to be his dad on earth.  A love that even though he cannot be my first love wants to be my last love.  A love with whom I can envision growing old.  A love I truly believe was heaven sent.

And through it all I have been blessed to have my wonderful friends and family supporting me. My dear friends who, in the depths of my grief, gathered around to let me know I was not alone.  Friends who encouraged me to live but understood that sometimes the grief would make it difficult to do so. Friends who told me it was ok to be happy, to laugh, to move forward.  Friends who when I told them I had unexpectedly met someone, were truly happy for me.  Friends who have welcomed my new beginning with open arms. Friends who have stood by my side during my darkest days and also raised a glass to celebrate my joy.   My family who even though they new my heart was shattered by Jared's death, hoped that one day I would find new love because they didn't want to me spend the rest of my life alone.  My family who are excited for me and my adventure with my new beginning. 

So today, I am counting my blessings:  

My first love who taught me that life is short and love never ends.  

My new love who showed me that love shared expands the heart instead of dividing it. 

My friends who are always by my side offering their unwavering support.

My family who truly just want me to be happy.