Solo Parenting Sucks

Solo parenting sucks.  Being the only one twenty-four hours a day seven days a week without an end in sight. And yes, I have amazing friends who would do anything for me but they have their own families. As a solo parent I’m often forced to make difficult  choices.  I can't be in two places at once so that often means something has to pushed to the wayside.

Today I felt like a failure as a mom.  I try so hard to give Steven the best experiences all while balancing work, sports, and life.  And today I failed.  I tried my best and things happened that  were out of of my control, but I still feel like I failed.  I wish I wasn't doing all this alone. That every parenting decision didn't fall squarely on my shoulders.  But it does.  And even though I can ask others for advice, the decision is ultimately mine.  And mine alone.  Which also means the blame when something goes wrong is also mine.  And only mine.

Today is one of those days I think “this is not what I signed up for.”  I never wanted to be a solo mom.  I never said I could do it alone.  I planned on having Jared to share in this life.  To share the load.  But unfortunately, I was dealt a different hand.  And I have no choice but to play the cards as they were dealt.  So with a few tears and a lot of prayer, I will forge on.  And yes, I will make mistakes.  Will feel like a failure.  Will worry that I'm doing it all wrong and screwing up my kid.  But sometimes, I will also get it right.  Will make great memories with Steven.  We will share many laughs and take great adventures together.   And maybe one day I will feel like I am rocking this solo mom thing.

But no matter what, I still say SOLO PARENTING SUCKS!