Love With No Limits

So today I realized that I love my new beginning differently than I loved Jared. And I felt very guilty. Because I realized that I love my new beginning in a deeper, more profound way than I loved Jared.  I loved Jared with all my heart and all my soul. And there is a part of my heart that will always love him. But I realized something today.  Something that made my heart ache a little. I am in love with someone else beside Jared.  I will always love Jared. I will always miss Jared.  I will always wish he could be here to see Steven grow up.  But, I am no longer only in love with him.  I realized Jared is no longer my future.  

I am also in love with someone else.  Someone who gives me butterflies.  Someone who makes me laugh. Really laugh.  Someone who makes me feel cherished. Someone who makes me feel safe.  Someone who wants to take care of me.  Someone I want to let take care of me.  Someone who loves me for who I am.  Someone I pray will be my last love.

I am completely and hopelessly in love with my new beginning.  He is the man I want in my life.  The man I love.  The man with whom I want to plan a future.  The man who will hopefully be my son’s dad 2.0.  Jon is my future.  

And while Jared will always be a part of our lives and a part of my heart will always be reserved for him, I am in love with someone else.  I want to plan a future with my new beginning.  I love Jon for who he his and how wonderful he makes me feel.  Jon is not Jared.  He is his own man.  And for that I am grateful.   Maybe, because of my grief, I can love Jon harder, deeper, more completely.   All I know is I love him.  In a way I have never loved anyone.  And I'm excited to share my future with him.  I am completely in love with my beginning and it feels so right.