Excitement of New Love

New love is so exciting. It's also scary as hell. Making yourself vulnerable. Sharing parts of yourself that you may not be proud of. Letting someone in. Allowing someone to take care of you. Allowing yourself to need someone else. Butterflies in your stomach. That's what new love is for me.

For me, new love was completely unexpected. But it is oh so wonderful. In only 8 weeks I have given my heart to someone new.  And it feels amazingly wonderful.  I am not used to someone wanting to take care of me.  Jared loved me with his whole heart but since he was sick, I was the caretaker.  Especially the last 5 years he was alive.  So this is new territory for me. Exciting, unexplored, new territory.

I'm also dating with a child in tow. Thus, I must always keep his needs in the forefront of my mind.  And my new beginning also has a child.  We both understand, our children are our top priorities.  Yes, we love being together. Yes, we want to take this relationship as far as it can go.  But we know we must do it while making our children feel loved and safe.  My new beginning's daughter said she is our biggest cheerleader.  And my son wants us to be a happy.  How amazing is that?  We must be doing something right.

New love brings so much excitement.  The thrill of the first kiss.  The simple joy of hand holding.  The security of being wrapped in someone's arms.  The racing of your heart at the the thought of physical intimacy.  The silly smile on your face because someone text you every morning and calls you every night.  The contentment because life is good and you wouldn't change it for anything.  

My friends and family keep saying take it slow.  Don't rush into it.  You don't want to get hurt.  You don't want Steven to get attached in case it doesn't work out.  Sound advice but a little too late.  I'm already all in. I can see a future with my new beginning.  And more importantly, I want a future with him.  Could it all fall apart?  Absolutely!  But new love is risky and I want to take the risk on this relationship.

For the first time since Jared died, I like my life.  I am happy.  I am content.  I am rediscovering that happy go lucky girl who loves to dance. I am in a place where I can open myself up to someone new.  I am trying to follow God's path and put my new relationship in His hands.  I truly believe my new beginning was heaven sent.  And for that I should say thank you God.  And thanks Jared for dropping him in my lap.  

Here's to new love.  And all the excitement it brings!