I'm Your Mom, Not Your Friend

I always think of myself as the “mean” mom.  I am fairly strict.  Have rules.  Set expectations.  Believe in consequences when rules are broken.  Yes, I pick my battles but certain things are not negotiable.  So I never think of myself as the “fun” parent. But recently I was told I was wrong about that.  I was reminded that I live life to the fullest.  Rarely say no to an adventure.  Think nothing of hopping on a plane and heading off to someplace new.  Encourage others to realize that life is short so go out and  live it.  So I guess, in that sense I am the “fun” parent.  Who knew being adventurous could make me the “fun” mom?  

But I am still the mom.  And it's my job to raise a responsible, productive, able to function in society adult.   Do I want to have fun, take adventures, and make unforgettable memories?  Absolutely.  So for me, it all comes down to balance.  Finding the balance between the rules and the fun.    I believe that when children know the rules, the expectations, and have structure they thrive.  And that allows us to focus on the adventure, the fun, and the laughter.

I always say I'm your mom not your friend.  But what do I mean by that?  Does that mean I don't like you, my dear, sweet child?  No, of course not.  It means friendships, especially at your age, can come and go but I'm here for the long haul. To me, it means I have your best interest at heart.  I will respect you and I expect you to respect me.  I'm always on your team.  Will always tell you the truth.  Set limits and boundaries to keep you safe.   Be your biggest cheerleader.  Push you to be your best.  Be there to help when you fall.  Won't accept inappropriate behavior.  Nor will I look the other way when you make a poor choice.  Will do my best not to judge you.  Will help you find a solution to your problem. I am always here for you.  I love you.  No matter what, I love you.
And once you become an adult, we will then (hopefully) become amazing friends and I might even hear a “thanks mom.”

Here's to finding the balance.  I will never be the perfect mom but I'm trying to be the best mom I can be.  And I hope someday Steven and now Alli can say “mom did her best.  She always loved me, encouraged me to experience all this world has to offer, told me to never give up, and helped prepare me for this thing called life.”   Is that too much to hope for?