Not Part of Everyday Life

When you live 1,000 miles apart, it’s hard to be part of the every day of someone else’s life.  No matter how hard you try to include each other.  You can try to share all the highlights, ups and downs of each day but that doesn’t make up for the distance. And it’s even harder if one of you shares more than the other.  But no matter what, one of you is always missing out on something. Some event. Some milestone. Some part of life.  And that makes it even more difficult to blend a family.  To feel like a family unit.  To forge relationships.

We are doing our best.  Sometimes we succeed.  Sometimes we don’t.  But we keep trying.  And one day, we will be together for the day to day.  Which will bring its own adjustments. Dealing with blending our worlds.  Our routines.  Our lifestyles including parenting.  Unfortunately, by then Alli will be off at college so I will never get to enjoy being part of her daily life.  But at least I will be there when she comes home for holidays and weekends.

Hopefully one day we will feel like a real family.  It will just be natural.  Not a mine vs yours or us vs them.  But just a family.  Treating each other the same.  Not worrying if someone is going stop loving you because you’re not biologically related.  Knowing that the love and relationship is unconditional.  That comes automatically with biological kids and parents but it’s not so easy with bonus kids.  And it’s even harder to form that bond when you see each infrequently.

Long distance is hard on a relationship.  Hard on a family.  So much is missed.  But at least we know it’s not forever.