3 years ago today I was told Jared was going to pass and pass quickly. I remember being shell shocked. Had no idea what to do or who to call. And I remember clearly thinking this is the worst day of my life. But it wasn't. I didn't know at the time but eight days later would actually be the worst day of my life. Instead that day and the ones that followed became ones of love. Friends and family came to see Jared. Tell him how much they loved him. Admired him. Respected him. How much he had inspired their lives. I got to see my dying husband hold our son and comfort Steven as his heart was breaking. And hear him tell Steven just how much he loved him. How he would always love him. And that when Steven was happy on earth, Jared would be happy in heaven. I got to lay in the bed with Jared and just feel the love between us. Hear him say I love you, Carla. How beautiful those moments are. And I am so grateful to carry them with me today.
I don't know how many people came to see and pray for Jared that day. But God was very present in that room. I was privileged to witness the strength of Jared's faith. He told me he wasn't afraid to die. That he knew he was going to heaven but that he hated to leave me and Steven. And Steven’s faith...wow. The faith of a child is an amazing thing. And Steven’s faith continues to amaze me everyday.
So instead of focusing on the sorrow of that day, I'm going to focus on the positive. I'm going to focus on the love. The family. The faith. I'm going to focus on the fact that God answered Steven’s prayer and gave us a few more days with Jared. Days of memories to last us a lifetime.
And I hope as this week continues and I remember Jared's last week on Earth, that I can hold on to that love. That faith. That miracle of extra time.
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