Memories Don't Need A Box

Today we officially put an on offer on a new house.  Tomorrow my home will go on the market.  And while I am excited, my heart also hurts. Yes, Steven and I will be starting on an exciting, new adventure.  But at the same time we are leaving our home that we shared with Jared.  Jared lived in that house.  Jared died in that house.  Our home, the only one Steven has ever known. How can I just leave all that behind?  I know I'll never leave Jared behind.  His spirit, his memories, his love will always be with us.  But I can't help but feel like this is a goodbye of sorts.

I don't want to say goodbye again.  Last week I was at such peace, so confident in my decision.  Today I'm wondering if I'll actually be able to leave parts of my old life to start my new life.   And if I'm this emotional now what's going to happen when I start packing?  Touching all of Jared's things?  Walking up and down the attic stairs?  Putting our life together in a box?  Emptying the old house and filling the new?

Last night I took pictures of the chalkboard wall in Steven's room. That wall has 10 years of memories on it. Words he wrote when he was only five or six. Pictures that friends drew years ago.  Messages that his dad left  for him.  And as I snapped photos of the chalkboard wall, I thought we are really closing one chapter and starting another. Steven looked at the wall and said I can't believe tomorrow morning will be the last time I see it like this. Our lives are changing and just like his chalkboard wall, it's time to wipe off some of the old so we can make room for some new.

But as we venture out for our fresh start,  our old lives will always be a part of us. Jared will always be written into the future volumes of our lives.  Because no matter where we go or where we call home, Jared lives on inside us.  Our memories are Priceless Treasures  that will always move with us.  No matter where we go, our memories are certain to come along. As my wise son told me a few years ago when I was selling our Gainesville house “it is just a house, no one can take our memories.”  So I guess what I have realized is our memories don't need a box, they live on in our hearts.