When I married Jared, I could never imagine that we would grow old together. You see, Jared was sick when we met. Was waiting for a lung transplant. So I knew that the chances of us growing old together were slim. Almost nonexistent. I never allowed myself to imagine our future. To see us sitting on rocking chairs watching our grandchildren. I am grateful for the years we had together. The time. Even though it couldn't last for forever.
But now I can imagine my future. Imagine growing old with someone. With Jon. For the first time, I can see myself sitting on that rocking chair. Watching our grandchildren play. Holding hands in our old age. Enjoying our twilight years. Feeling loved even when I'm old and gray.
And I realize there will be three of us in my future. Jared and I will grow old together. Just differently than I imagined. Jared will always be a part of my future. And he will always be watching out for me, for Steven, and our grandchildren. But I won't be sitting in a rocker next to him. Holding his hand. Instead I will feel him in the sunlight. Hear him in the waves. See him in Steven. Instead it will be Jon who I'm sitting by. Jon's hand I'm holding. Jon who I grow old with.
How blessed am I? To have found two great loves. To have a new love that understands and respects my first love. To have a new beginning that makes room for my dead husband. To have a future with a man who loves me, all of me.
My past, my present, my future. They will always intersect. Be interwoven. Grow old together.
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