Love never dies

When Jared died 13 months ago, my future died with him.  My planned and unplanned future.  All the milestones my son will reach that his dad will not be here to celebrate. All the vacations, holidays, birthdays that Jared will miss.  All the events we will miss celebrating with him.   One of the hardest struggles of my grief has been accepting all the things Jared will miss.
We were supposed to spend forever together.  Raise our son. Spoil our grandchildren.  Travel the world. Unfortunately, my forever turned out to be longer than his.  I am blessed though, because he loved me till forever.  Not everyone is fortunate enough to be someone's forever.  But I was.  I can say without a doubt that I was loved everyday.  Everyday day until his last breath.  And that gives me some comfort and peace.
Planning a future without my love is scary.  My future was supposed to include him beside me.  Not me walking alone.   Most days I just get up and go where the day takes me, no planning involved.  I don't have any idea what my future holds yet, so I can't plan for it.  So I am taking the wait and see approach.  My future, my plan, my path will present itself and when it does, I know Jared will be walking beside me, guiding me.
In 13 months I have realized that while my future no longer includes Jared physically, he will always be with me.  He will always be in my heart.  In my son's laugh.  In our celebrations.  Just because I can no longer see him, doesn't mean he isn't with me.  He will always be in the gentle whisper, in the soft breeze, in the sound of the surf.  He wills always be with me, especially in the darkest times. He visits me in my dreams.
So while my future has changed, he will always be a part of it.  Because love never dies.