Single parenting

I did not sign up to be a single parent. I never asked to be the one left behind to raise a child by myself. Yes, Jared was sick when we met and I always knew that someday this could be my future but even knowing that I'm never truly accepted that one day I would be a widow.

Being a single mother sucks! There is no nice way to describe it.

Last week our son started 6th grade, middle school. I can't believe my little baby boy is grown up enough to go to middle school. Tonight he had a ton of homework. That was not the stressful part. The hard part came when it was time to print out the paper he had typed. We had left the cord to our laptop at my mother in laws house 2 weeks ago and she had not yet sent it to us. So tonight we had to type Steven's  essay on our old netbook. When it was time to print it out, I quickly found out that the netbook does not connect to our wireless printer. So I had the bright idea to save his essay to a jump drive but guess what? Our wireless printer does not have a port for a jump drive. And then I thiugh,  ok I'll email the paper to myself because from my tablet I can print to the  wireless printer.  When I tried to open the document on my tablet it was reformatted and no longer looked like it should.  And there was no way to reformat it on the tablet. I just wanted to scream.  Scream, cuss,, cry, and throw things. I just wanted to have a temper tantrum.

For the first time in 11 months I was so mad at my husband for leaving me. I said out loud I did not f****** sign up for this. You should be here to help me. You would know a way to make this work and make this stupid paper print. But all the screaming, crying, cussing, and tantrum throwing isn't going to bring my husband back. No matter how angry I get, no matter how much I miss him, no matter how much I need him to help me parent our child he's never coming back. I'm stuck being a single mother. And it sucks!