Missing my love at Easter

This is our second Easter without Jared.  And I miss him terribly.  Easter has always been a family time.  A day for rejoicing, for celebrating.  A faithful day filled with family and friends.   Last year we did just that, celebrated with family and friends.  But this year we decided to celebrate differently.

This year my son and I are celebrating Easter in Breckenridge.  This is the first time we have been skiing and snowboarding since Jared died.  Another first.  I didn't expect the emotional trigger that seeing the snow would bring.  I was immediately sent back to our first Easter skiing when Steven was only 18 months old.  And our last time hitting the slopes in Lake Tahoe for what would be our last Thanksgiving.

As I watched my little man snowboard today, I could feel Jared watching him too.  I was so overcome with emotion and tears ran down my cheeks before I could even think to stop them.

My friend recently told me that Easter is a perfect day for widows,  a season of death and rebirth.  A part of me died when Jared was called home.  Maybe this Easter is the time for my rebirth.  To discover who I am now.

Feeling Jared on the ski slope today, reminded me that no matter where we travel for Easter or how we celebrate this holy season, he will always be with us.  Easter will always be our family time.