Being a widow is hard

Being a widow is hard, harder than I ever thought possible.

All alone to navigate this life.

There are no time outs. No one to relieve you.  No one else to make decisions.   No one to quiet your deepest fears.  No one to make you feel safe.  No one with whom to share that special look. No one to hold you at night.

All alone to navigate this life.

Suddenly a single parent.  Never able to say "go ask your dad."  Never able to say "I'm tired, tonight you are on duty."  Never able to delegate homework duty.  Never able to let someone else be the bad guy.

All alone to navigate this life.

No longer part of a couple, even though you still feel married.  Often the odd man out.  No longer having someone to make you feel special.  No longer having someone to make you feel loved.  No longer having someone to shower you with love and affection.   No longer the same person.

All alone to navigate this life.

Being a widow is hard.